Posthumous Ridicule of Victims of Violence, Survivors’ Guilt/Grief, and Suicide

Dear Grieving Parent or Friend or Colleague,

The senseless murder of your loved one matters powerfully to most of your fellow citizens and to untold numbers of compassionate people around the world. Please do not let your grief along with the guilt you feel for still drawing breath and/or the pain inflicted on your soul by those who try to diminish the value of your dear one’s life, as if such pathetic representations of humanity could do that, drive you to despair and to such darkness that you decide there is no longer a place for you in this world. One of the great testaments to the permanent ripples from your loved one’s life is you. Please fight on, taking all the pauses for healing you need. Please stand for the right, even when evil has the upper hand. Your loved one speaks through you now. And when the pain seems to be overtaking you, find support. Call on others to prop you up for the moment. Call a suicide hotline. Get in touch with someone like me; I’ll drop anything I’m doing and find you a mental health professional and/or a spiritual advisor close to where you are. The world will never gleam as brightly as it did when your loved one adorned it; but it will be darker still without you. Don’t give the evil ones a double win.

David Albert Farmer


The subhuman creatures–so-called “law enforcement” professionals, so-called “law makers,” so-called journalists, and those benefitting financially from readily available weapons such as NRA types–who demean people actively trying to live through attacks on their lives are the ones who should have been disqualified from the enjoyment of life; not their innocent victims. As sickening as that is, there have been others who have jumped onto the bandwagon after murders and attempted murders to chide–not the soul-less attack devils who serve and entertain them–but the victims themselves; many of them long since deceased.

Ongoing attempted diminishment of the lives of loved ones taken from this world by madwomen and madmen exacerbates survivors’ grief and guilt. Even in their tombs, these innocents are not protected from the barbs of hatemongers who keep trying to minimize the value of the lives of kids and adults who did nothing more in various fateful moments than try to stay alive. At this juncture, we can’t help thinking of Donald Trump insulting over and again the late John McCain as if his life had amounted to nothing. By no means can you allow his hatred of any who suffer to cause you even more pain than you already have to carry.


The world will never gleam as brightly as it did when your loved one adorned it; but it will be darker still without you.

Dear ones, wounded in your depths by your losses through violence, the rest of us need you here. Please stay.